If you can't tie a knot, tie a lot.

That's a phrase to describe "those who can't" in the world of sailing. It brings to mind those who installed our kitchen floor. Brian has a few choice names for them. In fact, not an hour has gone by in the past three days when he hasn't uttered, well, something I shouldn't repeat here.

He has justification.

You see, the previous installers got staple happy. I mean REALLY staple happy. There were (insert Carl Sagan voice here) Billions and Billions of staples in the floor. Take overkill and kick it up a notch. And trying to get them out with our pliers was nothing short of torture. So this morning while I was making rounds, Brian did a bit of research and discovered these:

The Extractor is like Manna from heaven when it comes to cursed floor staple removal!

Oh. My. Gawd. These things ROCK! Worth every penny of the $28 we spent for each of two of them. It made pulling out those damn staples a breeze. So now, the kitchen floor is removed down to the subfloor. So now it's time to level it out and prep it for the flooring that arrives in two days!

Luon is the devil's work.

/rant on

I'm sure it has some redeeming value, but they way it was installed here...jeez! Five BILLION staples to attach it to the floor below, which consists of (from shallow to deep): vinyl tile, thin plywood, subfloor then subfloor again! So in total, we've been walking on:

Laminate floor on top of
underlayment on top of
luon on top of
vinyl on top of
thin plywood on top of
subfloor 1 on top of
subfloor 2!

We've decided....we're taking it down to subfloor 1 and starting anew. Good lord.

/rant off

...Like angels coming down to rescue

They came. The angels. Well, in their own way. The guys from the Habitat for Humanity ReStore Warehouse took the old cabinets, range, hood and flooring out of here! Woohoo! Now hopefully someone else can take advantage of the supplies.

In other news, the laundry room cabinet went up last night and it fits just fine! With room for a microwave below, matter of fact...

Dustbowl

The latest, pitiful view. Soffits and popcorn ceiling be gone!

So I've been a slacker since the last post. Meh.

There's dust. Everywhere.

Over the weekend B and I took down the soffits. That was fun. I have to say they were pretty well attached given the number of nails used. On Sunday the popcorn ceiling met a similar fate. Fortunately B found the trick online: a dilute vinegar/water solution sprayed on the popcorn pretty much loosens it from the surface beneath in a matter of minutes. You can scrape entire sheets off. If it wasn't for the paint we applied six years ago, it would have come off even easier (but I ain't complainin!)

Tomorrow brings the ReStore warehouse pickup crew to take the cabinets, floor and range away. That'll definitely open up some room to work but renders us totally kitchenless. The desire to not eat out anymore will completely drive our rate of renovation!

Pleasant surprises

Former residence of the upper cabinet

Upper cabinet, now evicted.

We decided to pull off one of the upper cabinets then look in the other soffit. The cabinet came down easier than anticipated and the case was lighter than we thought it would be. Bonus! B opened a hole in the exterior wall side soffit and there appeared to be no roadblocks to removing it. Double bonus!

Now for some potential changes on the floor. We found this stranded bamboo that would look beautiful but the price on second look was too steep. So we're looking to change to a slightly thinner and narrower board of the same material to keep from blowing the budget.

The Re-Store warehouse is scheduled to take the cabinets and flooring away in a week from today. Hopefully then the place will look a little less like a warzone. Yeah, right.

Kitchen archaeology

Yesterday, Brian decided to see exactly how the some of the cabinets were installed. These were custom when the house was built, so it's anyone's guess.

The first cabinet to be removed is the base cabinet to the right of the stove. It took no tools whatsoever to pull it out. Brian gave the countertop a good yank and up it came, leaving the case behind. Another yank on the case pulled it from its home on the subfloor, revealing a solitary nail that held it to the wall. I pray that the rest of the house is better assembled.

Short of caulk, this was all that held the cabinet to the house.

And the credit card had a seizure

So, the day that the devastating weather struck central and eastern North Carolina, we headed to Ikea in Charlotte to pick up the cabinets. Rain followed us most of the way there, turning into a decent thunderstorm while in the store. This gave way to beautiful clear skies for the trip home. Little did we know that the average thunderstorm we experienced grew into a monster that killed 22 people (at last count) and plunged 200,000 into darkness. We were lucky that our home got by unscathed, as did our neighbors.

Now the house is filled with BOXES!!! This comprised about a third of the total projected cost of the kitchen. It's a little overwhelming!

The collection of boxes about to swallow Brian

The former guest bedroom, now Ikea box staging area.

The saga begins

So after living here for six years, we've decided to tackle the kitchen. Initially we were hoping to expand the space but the timing just isn't right for that at this point. So, it's updating time! You'll find photos of the current kitchen in the previous posting.

History:
Since we bought the house, the kitchen has remained pretty much the same. We inherited a reasonably new white Kenmore dishwasher (which is reeeeeealy quiet), a Frigidaire (by GM) stainless steel drop-in electric range that was original to the house, a refrigerator space that caused the fridge to tilt backward, a Carolina blue Formica countertop, original custom cabinets that had their doors painted white with the addition of pull knobs, and slick laminate flooring that we thought was glued down.  Phenergan, anyone?

Since:
1. Dishwasher lives. And will stay.
2. Range went t!ts-up after 32 years, replaced with a used Kitchen-aid gas range that sings when you turn on the burner. Whaddya want for a $400 Craigslist special?
3. We have yet to figure out how the floor under the fridge is assembled. Stay tuned.
4. Da countertop gotta go.
5. The cabinets will go with it.
6. The laminate is click-together. Oh happy day! It'll be repurposed for bathroom flooring at the beach. What lies underneath is old vinyl tile covered by a thin piece of plywood. The same laminate extended into the foyer, which hid a really cool greenish-beige subway tile. Score!

The plan:
Everything is gonna go, with the exception of the fridge, dishwasher and garbage disposal. And the "Martha doesn't live here, jackass!" sign will certainly remain. So, in not any necessary order:

1. Gut the place. This means removing all the cabinets and flooring.
2. Remove the soffits and fix the ceiling. There's vents and electric up there, y'all. That may be our first challenge.
3. Put down stranded bamboo flooring.
4. Install Ikea cabinets
5. Granite countertops, undermount sink.
6. Bertazzoni 36" range and hood
7. Replace flooring in living room with same bamboo
8. Paint.

Saturday begins the adventure with the 2.5 hour drive to the Charlotte Ikea to hopefully pick up the cabinets.

Easy enough, right?

Kitchen renovation: Pre-op photographs

Kitchen interior wall

Kitchen exterior wall

Kitchen exterior wall looking toward dining area

Kitchen interior wall

Hallway

The $&#^! soffits!